* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 624, Week of August 23-24, 2010
Publisher: David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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The right things to do are those that keep our violence in abeyance; the wrong things are those that bring it to the fore. - Robert J. Sawyer, 1960-present
Wealth is the slave of a wise man. The master of a fool. - Seneca, 5 BC-65 AD
Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren, 1918-present
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*** Article: Maybe You Shouldn't Set Goals After All - By Richard Fast ***
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Surprisingly enough, setting goals may actually hinder your chances of life-long success!
Let me begin by saying that goal setting is wickedly effective. In other words, if you desire an outcome, and make it a goal, the odds are likely that you'll achieve it. And therein lies the problem.
Let me explain.
If you decide you want to drive your car from your house to the city, that's a goal. You likely don't give it a second thought. You just decide and then execute. We all set and achieve hundreds of these kinds of goals every day. These are not the goals I'm referring to.
The goals that may actually hinder your chances of long-term success are the crucial life-changing goals that are improperly set. These are the big goals that require significant focus, and, if achieved, can have a monumental impact on your life, but if slightly missed, they can have a devastating effect.
Setting a goal is a powerful tool, and it must be used properly. If misused, it can have seriously negative consequences.
I discovered the potentially destructive force of incorrect goal setting somewhat by accident.
Martial arts has adopted a simple and effective way to motivate students on a step-by-step, or a goal-by-goal process through the use of colored belts.
When a student begins studying a martial art, he will begin by wearing a white belt. Nobody enjoys wearing a white belt for too long, because it's a very visual sign of one's achievement and mastery.
The belt system in most martial arts goes from white to yellow to orange, green, blue, brown and black. Each color represents the next plateau or goal. In many respects this belt system provides massive incentive.
Having studied several martial arts, I can attest the effectiveness of the belt system in motivating students. If everyone went from wearing a white belt until they achieved the "coveted" black belt, many more students would drop-out along the way. The mileposts of belt attainment have a magical way of breaking the goals into manageable steps. With each new belt students get a strong motivational lift that keeps them striving toward the next color.
Although this belt system is extremely effective, it also has an underside that perfectly mirrors the danger of incorrectly setting a goal.
Almost all martial arts students begin with the same goal in mind ... to achieve a black belt. In the majority of cases that I've witnessed, when a student finally achieves the long coveted black belt, very often within a few months, or even weeks, he'll drop the sport. I've witnessed this happen time and time again, and I always swore it would never happen to me.
If you're not familiar with martial arts you might be thinking; "Well why wouldn't he drop the sport if he's got a black belt? What else is there to learn?" If that were the case, it would be an excellent question, but in reality, achieving a black belt means that one has only mastered the fundamentals of the art. Following the attainment of a basic black belt, there are ten more degrees, or dans, that represent the path to true mastery and lifelong study.
The last martial art I practiced was jiu-jitsu. Like all students I was striving to achieve my black belt status. Although that was my "first" goal, I had always thought that I would pursue my study well beyond the basic black belt level.
Interestingly enough, each rank and each belt I received, strongly motivated me toward striving for the next and the next. When I finally achieved my black belt ranking I had a distinct feeling of having reached a definite goal. When I first began wearing my black belt I had a defining sense of accomplishment and a desire to pursue my studies further, but then within a few weeks a very subtle disinterest began to settle in. I found myself making flimsy excuses to miss a class here and there and within a few months I had dropped my classes completely.
Let me say that if I really wanted to resume my studies of jiu-jitsu I obviously could, but at this point I've simply lost the desire, and THAT is the whole point.
How is it that martial arts students can passionately pursue their study for a number of years, and almost from the moment they achieve their goal of a black belt, with so much more to learn, they can lose interest so quickly?
I believe it's because of the underlying power of goal setting. As long as we are striving toward our goal, we have an invisible sustaining force. The moment we achieve our goal we have a natural tendency to let-up.
In this example, consciously or subconsciously, I was totally committed to achieving my black belt status. After that, I think I had a vague goal of continuing my study of the art, but the real, defining goal was achieving the rank of black belt.
Conversely, from the time I was fourteen until I was twenty-seven, I was a seriously heavy chain-smoker. Exercise and a healthy lifestyle were the furthest things from my mind.
When I eventually quit smoking I decided to pursue a life-long, healthy lifestyle of frequent exercise. Part of my plan was not to associate quitting smoking with the initially uncomfortable feeling of exercise, so I waited a full six months before I started.
When I finally began to incorporate exercise into my life, I started very slowly. I began with a running routine. I never set a goal to run a marathon, or to run ten miles or anything like that. My goal was to incorporate exercise as part of a healthy lifestyle. In fact the word goal in this instance is actually the wrong word. What I really did was switch my thinking from that of a "goal" to that of an intention.
As a result I have managed my exercise program for over twenty-five years. It has been such a part of my life that I simply couldn't imagine living without it.
Setting a goal such as cleaning the garage or painting the house are perfectly fine because they're an end in themselves. Setting goals around things that we would like to incorporate into our lifestyle can be both limiting and dangerous.
The next time you consider setting a goal, you might want to consider how you can incorporate your new desire into a permanent way of living.
Intending to live your life a certain way is infinitely more powerful and lasting than setting a goal. There really is no goal when it comes to a lifestyle because it's so much more than that. It becomes something that you are. It's an intention to live your life the way you choose to live it.
For this simple reason why not change a life-time goal from a goal to an intention?
Goals represent a finish line, but intention represents continuous achievement and a lifetime of mastery.
** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
Richard Fast, the author and creator of more than 30 toys, games, puzzles and books, has devoted the past twenty years into the research and development of his 29 DAYS template.
He, like the rest of us, had always been told that if you want to change your life just change your thoughts. But how can we change the way we think?
Richard discovered that we can change our fundamental thoughts into desirable new habits by following the same cognitive procedures that we used to create our existing habits.
Richard's 29 DAYS template for change uses proven, scientific techniques, technology and online coaching, to guide you through a step-by-step process toward changing your thoughts and acquiring desirable new habits ... permanently.
Other inspiring websites
Stop Letting Stuff Overwhelm You. For more information, please visit http://www.mindingyourmatters.com